Now why, you might be thinking, is Linda featuring some MTV guy? He’s not performing at SXSW. Well, every year when I return to Austin I have to go through mounds of Festival coverage and when MTV sent me James Montgomery’s SXSW blog posts, so compelling were they (and so charmed was I by his Bonnaroo piece) that I thought, why not get the handsome Mr. Montgomery to weigh in?

He sent me a wonderful bio, which is nice because I’m in the middle of a wicked food coma and making up random fascinating stuff is just not within the realm of possibility at the mo.

“James Montgomery writes about rock music, politics and popular culture for MTV News. He also contributes a weekly column, “Bigger Than The Sound,” to MTVNews.com, which is usually about one of those three things (though it is occasionally also about fantasy sports, professional wrestling and/or Lifetime Original Movies.) He previously served as a contributing editor at Surface magazine, and his work has appeared in SPIN, TV Guide, Stop Smiling, FHM and The Journal News. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and their cat, who is named after a brand of Irish potato chips (or “crisps” if you prefer.) He was born a Boston Red Sox fan, and thinks less of you if you support the New York Yankees. He is also probably one of only 27 Orlando Magic fans on the planet, and he thinks Dwight Howard is the truth. His favorite band of all time is probably Pavement. He is 29 years old, 6ft 2in tall and weighs 165 pounds. He no longer buys clothes from thrift stores. He wishes he could quit smoking. Talking about himself makes him uncomfortable. So … how are you?”

I am über excited to present to you, the viewing public, Le LP Questionnaire du James Montgomery…

Name: James Montgomery, staff writer, MTV News
Pro Wrestling Name: Dash Demon

1. Pretend you’re 15 (and tell us what year it is, if you don’t mind). Name three songs you’d put on a mix tape for your girlfriend/boyfriend.

Okay, so I am pretending to be 15. Which means it is 1993, and I am in tenth grade. And in the spirit of the exercise, I’ll also pretend that I listened to cool music back then, and not, you know, Phish (though A Picture of Nectar and Rift are actually pretty solid records if you haven’t heard them). So … if I were trying to woo a special young lady, I’d probably start a mix with Pavement’s “Loretta’s Scars,” because it’s sweet and sloppy and off-kilter, which is how I’d undoubtedly be feeling about the girl I was pressing play and record for. Then I’d throw on “Divine Hammer” by the Breeders, because I’m pretty sure it’s a song about sex. And then maybe Traffic’s “Mr. Fantasy,” because I’d want her to think I was awesome and smoked unfiltered cigarettes and played harmonica and carried a pool cue with me at all times, though this probably explains why I never got laid in high school.

2. Which evil villain would make the best president? Anton Chigurh? Magneto? A-Rod? I don’t know … I think current evil villain in the White House is doing a better job than any of those guys could ever do.

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Anything with anthropomorphic cats battling an evil mummy in a far-off galaxy.

4. What superpower do you wish you had? I would probably want to be able to fly, except I can guarantee you that at some point during college, I would’ve been at a party somewhere, and we’d all be drunk, and so I’d think it would be a good idea to show off my ability, and I’d inevitably fly into some power lines or a tree or something. So I’ll go ahead and say that I wish I were able to freeze things at will, because then I’d always have refreshing cold beverages around.

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? Are You Going to Finish That Sandwich? or maybe I’ll Have a Large Coffee.

Pick Three

The Plastic Constellations: These guys are from Minneapolis, and they’re awesome because they sing about brotherhood and drinking on front porches and dragons and stuff like that. Also, they’re about to go on indefinite hiatus, which they knew before they made their new album ("We Appreciate You,") so it’s full of fist-pumpers about saying farewell to their youth and the open road and heading into adult life with no regrets. Which means a) the record is both awesome and sad at the same time; and b) their farewell show at SXSW is gonna be a burner.

The Dodos: These guys sort of remind me of the Flight of the Concords, even though they’re not really funny or anything like that (neither are the Flight of the Concords, now that I think of it.) They sort of look like those dudes though, so maybe that’s why. Anyway, I like them because they play really complex, roiling indie rock about the kind of trivial bullshit I fill my weekends with in Williamsburg. Don’t hold that against them, though.

Vampire Weekend: I wanted to hate them so, so badly, primarily because of everything I’d read about them, not to mention the whole “Pastel Polo/popped collar/boat shoes” thing, but as it turned out, their album is actually really great. Just strummy, sunny, cheeky stuff. And while it certainly sounds an awful lot like Graceland, it also reminds me of stuff like Rushmore and a Benetton ad from the ’80s. It’s totally disposable, and unspeakably white, but I’ll probably be listening to it all year long, put it w-a-a-y too high on my Top 10 list, then look back in a year and be like “Wait, what?”

Gratitutde to ya for reading. I’m listening to Underworld in hopes of waking up (and no, they’re not playing). Is it really only Tuesday? Email tetris keyrings to musicblog@sxsw.com. Do not email me invites to model parties in NYC. I will not go and wouldn’t even if I lived there. Read more LP Questionnaires here. Subscribe to our feed and I’ll be your best friend. Click, you disconnect from me, lp