I just saw Eugene Mirman (the comedian who makes soup for breakfast most mornings) at the IFC party at The Parish… but I’m too shy to be like, “Hey dude, yeah, I’m the goof who blogs for SXSW. Let’s be friends? Okay? No? Maybe? You can decide later…”

Still, it was cool to see the man who killed at the Interactive Web Awards ceremony Sunday night. My friend Elizabeth is on to something with her little crush on the Mirman.

When Eugene was in the 8th grade he once got a -8 on a homework assignment for math class (I guess this was that new math they were trying to teach us back in the 80s). One time at a party he defeated the girl who was the backgammon champion of Chicago.

In the 6th grade his dog got hit by a car and died, and a girl told him that his dog committed suicide because it didn’t love him. That is one of the most tragic stories ever.

Mr. Eugene was nice enough to do The LP Questionnaire and stuff. I can think of no better way to start some late night comedy SXSW kickoff posts (Human Giant coming up in short order)…

Name: Eugene Mirman
Pro Wrestling Name: King Frost (the female version is Miss Freak)

1. Pretend you’re 15 (and tell us what year it is, if you don’t mind). Name three songs you’d put on a mix tape for your girlfriend/boyfriend.

The year is 1990. I would put “What It Takes” by Aerosmith (or “Janie’s Got A Gun” if I was in a goofball mood), “Sweet Child ‘O Mine” by Guns ‘N Roses and “Stuck Inside A Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again” by Bob Dylan.

2. Which evil villain would make the best president? Magneto, because he is good natured, and he’s also well informed.

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Superfriends, I think. I also liked Galaxy Rangers and Transformers.

4. What superpower do you wish you had? It’s so hard to pick just one, because they are all so good (except if your power was throwing up a lot and not noticing it). It would definitely be fun to fly. However, it would also be great to shoot beams out of your mind. I guess I would have to say telekinesis, because it’s the most versatile. I’d want to be a much more powerful version of Scott Baio’s character from Zapped! (I’d also take my powers more seriously than he did) and also from Zapped Again! (which I have not seen, but I imagine must be very, very similar to Zapped!).

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? It would either be Eugene Mirman: The Story Of Oddball Immigrant Man or Please Don’t Shit There: The Life And Times Of Eugene Mirman. Regardless, it would have a giant sticker on it that said, “Now With More Swears!”

Pick Three

Alina Simone: She is a childhood friend of mine who just recorded an album of covers of Russian punk-folk legend Yanka Dyagileva. I recently heard the album (which is in Russian) and it’s great and I’m very excited to see her live.

Lou Reed. Like many musicians, when I first heard the Velvet Underground I fell in love with it and decided to become a comedian.

Yo La Tengo: All I know about them is that they formed in 1984, which is enough for me.

Thanks for reading… check out more LP Questionnaires here. Pick Threes here. Good stuff happened with My Morning Jacket, Vampire Weekend, The Whigs, Billy Zoom, and more.

It really begins tomorrow, huh? Are you excited? I’m positively thrilled. I can’t wait for 10 am when the boys in skinny jeans and unfortunate hats descend upon this fair town (I think some are here already). The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go, doesn’t it? lp